Sometimes I wonder if maybe we weren't meant to be happy...and other times I just wonder if I'm being pretentious?
Like the world owes me nothing. All that I have I am fortunate to have and I should make the best of. Between a loving family, technology at my fingertips, an intellect with curious capabilities, and some money to have fun with maybe I'm better than I like to think I am sometimes.
I recently spent memorial day weekend in the hamptons (with one of the bloggers from Back Row Critics) and I enjoyed every second of it. Walking through Southampton I realized that I loved the town and the cleanliness and the couture but I also realized that this seriously may never bring me happiness. Though who doesn't love all the designer cars and clothes? Anywho, I always feel inadequate when I compare that to my own life. But then I remembered that my own life is real.
I love the idea of the Hamptons, and of Cape Cod, and of Aspen, and of Beverly Hills. But I'm starting to realize that all of these places are just ideas...at least for me. I kind of want to focus on what I can do with my life and what I can create. I want to get back to my creative roots and if that brings me some prestige then all the better. The only thing that will make me truly happy at this point is getting back on a stage and doing something.
Maybe that's exactly what I need. To find the stage again and make things happen. That's the only way I can make things that are real.
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