So trust....what can I say? There is so much about a five letter word that I just don't understand, and I don't think a lot of people do either. Like to trust someone, its the scariest thing in the world. To let someone into your mind and your heart and know you....sometimes biblically. You trust someone with yourself....that's scary to me.
And yet, I find myself trusting to fast. I want someone to know me. I want people to know my wants and hopes and fears and secrets. Isn't that why I blog? I want to trust the world with myself. But yet we train ourselves to step away. Like when you know something is going to burn you but it hasn't quite scorched your skin. You feel the pain that isn't there and you run away. We retreat so easily. I feel like my mind has so many things to share with people and I want to trust people with what I can show them, and hope that they will trust me and we can explore each other. It's a little sexual but it doesn't have to be, does it?
I went on a date today, and got the distinct feeling that he thought I might have been oversharing. Not that I was creeping him out of some stories of my past, but if you're going to talk about The Great Gatsby and not mention how awesome the costumes were, then maybe I don't need to be talking to you. I got the feeling that I was instantly labeled weird. And maybe rightfully so. I wasn't in the mood to play the recalcitrant and brooding James Dean character. I wanted to be free loving and bubble and understanding and trusting. I Even sometimes with my friends they are reluctant to trust or to share. Then why are we friends? If you are truly a friend then there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't share with you.
I don't know maybe I'm weird and lonely. I just wish sometimes people were more trusting and gave me a reason to trust more.
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